Cari Greene
@NotCarlotta
(Former BSD Handle: NotCarlotta)
The third commitment for Black Shoe Diaries in about two weeks, Cari Greene comes to BSD from the nation's capital and will be helping out with our recruiting coverage, though you can expect to see her in many other capacities. Another recruiting team member? Yes, we're hitting this new coverage hard.
What sets our newest commitment apart isn't the hometown (we've already got at least three writers from Larry Johnson territory) or the school affiliation (Penn State, natch). What sets Cari apart, if you haven't already figured it out, is that she is the first ever* female author at Black Shoe Diaries. We're excited to have her enthusiasm and writing talent on board. Welcome to Black Shoe Diaries, Cari!
Cari, in her own words, after the jump...
Cari is excited to join BSD as its first female member. She lurked for quite some time before joining the BSD community a little over a year ago, and while she thinks it's about damn time that a member of the fairer sex joins the author ranks here, she's thrilled that it's her that gets to crash through that ceiling.
(Cari (in white). January 1983. Downtown State College. The hometown Lions had just played a rather important football game. She was not aware of this. Yet. (PHOTO: BSD/Cari Greene))
A Penn State fan since before birth, Cari is the daughter of two alumni who were students when JoePa began his tenure as head coach. She was "that" kid from pre-K through high school in suburban Maryland, sporting a PSU shirt every day, with an occasionally season-appropriate Starter jacket. She still owns her "Top Ten Reasons Why Penn State IS #1" t-shirt from 1994, and those reasons are still valid to this day. She can't remember the first time she attended a game at the Beav, and was the only one surprised she ended up in State College after high school.
Cari's worst football memory was the Minnesota game in ’99 (she can still feel the tension in the stadium during that field goal her freshman year), and her best was Ohio State in ’05. She somewhat sarcastically blames herself for the dark years, and has become very superstitious during football seasons since as a result.
She graduated from Penn State in ’03 with a degree in film/video, subject material she rarely uses in her current job, working in a non-profit capacity in the DC/Metro area. Where she does use it, however, is kicking ass in trivia in local bars on the weekends.
While not thinking about Penn State football, or her first celebrity crush (Kerry Collins), Cari likes to bake, possibly the only girly thing about her. Her favorite movie of all time is Star Wars, and her favorite book is a toss up between The Godfather and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. She is a self-loathing Redskins fan who literally screamed out loud for joy when they drafted Evan Royster, to the chagrin of everyone at the kids’ birthday party she was attending at the time.
Be sure to become a fan of BSD on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter!
* - Unconfirmed. She's certainly the first female on board since the new regime took over last July.
1 recs | 203 comments
GIRLS ARE ICKY.
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
Cari to Chris
“Well you have bad hair”
jls83 - February 22, 2012
"Your hair... looks... STUPID."
psuwxman - February 22, 2012
I'm a man who discovered the wheel and build the Effel tower out of metal and brawn
Thats what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. A brain a third the size of ours. Its science.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Well, that's just great.
You hear that,
EdChris? Bears. Now you’re putting the wholestationBSD in jeopardy.jman07 - February 22, 2012
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE the ladies, but they DON'T belong on BSD!
Bob Sacamano - February 22, 2012
I thought you were kidding!
I thought it was a joke! I even wrote it down in my diary, “
VeronicaNotCarlotta had a very funny joke today!” I laughed at it later that night!jman07 - February 22, 2012
Its terrible
She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
I love lamp
LAPSU - February 22, 2012
I don't know what we're yelling about!!!
moosepsu - February 22, 2012 via Android app
I'm not sure if we should be proud of the fact that we can throw out this many anchorman quotes on a whim
or embarassed……
jls83 - February 22, 2012
This is the tip of the iceburg for me, dude.
I love that movie.
psuwxman - February 22, 2012
Same here
jman07 - February 22, 2012
Yeah
ditto that. I know my reaction to seeing all these anchorman quotes (happiness), but I’m not sure if that’s the reaction that I should want.
jls83 - February 22, 2012
Discovered by the Germans, in 1904,
they named it San Dee-ah-go. Which of course, in German, means “a whale’s vagina.”
I know it doesn’t apply here, but I love that quote.
icavalera - February 22, 2012
“
BrickNotCarlotta where did you get a hand grenade?”“I don’t know”
jls83 - February 22, 2012
It's author-MAN, not author-LADY!
psuwxman - February 22, 2012
And that is a scientific fact!
dbl5030 - February 22, 2012
It's science!
icavalera - February 22, 2012
I'll admit, I was slightly afraid of some fringe anti-woman comments.
But I like where this tangent is headed. Proceed.
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
something something in the kitchen something something
I dont have the time to put that much effort into it.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Yeah, she's one-third of the way there.
She just needs to get pregnant and barefoot — not necessarily in that order.
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
Reminds me of a guy I worked with
After a conversation, I said to him, “So, you want your wife to be in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant.”
His reply, “Na, she can have shoes.”
wonderlin - February 22, 2012
Hope he was not serious.
I wasn’t — promise!
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
HA!
No, he wasn’t serious- we were just in a heated debate about sexism, it ended on that comment- neither one of us could stop laughing!
wonderlin - February 23, 2012
seriously?
I really wasn’t. Whatevs.
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Not from any of the regulars.
From some slightly unhinged lurker.
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
it's all good
I haven’t had to bitch slap anyone in a while, I kinda have been missing it
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Did you have a slightly unhinged lurker in mind?
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
I am unhinged and a bit of a lurker
Are you refering to me? I knew the voices in my head were correct this morning.
AriesGD - February 22, 2012
Yes
I believe diversity is an Old Wooden ship
psuphysicist - February 22, 2012
60 percent of the time, it works every time
jman07 - February 22, 2012
It's got real bits of panther in it, so you know it's good.
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
Ron
I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
That really is the perfect movie for this thread
jman07 - February 22, 2012
And now for our new BSD author, Tits McGhee...
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
I wish I had two profiles
so I could rec this twice
jls83 - February 22, 2012
Good evening, BSD. I'm Cari Greene. Tits McGee is on vacation.
jman07 - February 22, 2012
I'm Ron Burgundy?
moosepsu - February 22, 2012 via Android app
Go f*ck yourself, BSD!
icavalera - February 22, 2012
Poop. You poopmouth, with poop out of your mouth!
jman07 - February 22, 2012
And I'm Tits Mc... and I'm.... BSD...
psuwxman - February 22, 2012
LOLOLOLOL
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Veronica,
icavalera - February 22, 2012
Veronica,
I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
icavalera - February 22, 2012
Cool
How many times can she bench 225?
06Lion - February 22, 2012
BSD Writer Combine?
I’d pay a buck or two to see that
jls83 - February 22, 2012
o/u
at negative 2
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Would a negative be getting somebody else to do it for you?
Because if you’re baking, I bet you could do better than that…
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
true, I was just being self deprecating
honestly I have no idea. But probably not a heckuva lot
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
All depends on the decimal point...
225 lbs. – Good freakin luck
22.5 lbs. – Now we’re getting somewhere
2.25 lbs. – Hello combine record holder Cari!
jls83 - February 22, 2012
Who is this "Dan Snyder"
And why do you want to “fire” him?
Smee - February 22, 2012
And why were you "Not Carlotta"
when you really are, in fact, Carlotta? My head hurts now.
Smee - February 22, 2012
BSD: Now with 10% more Minions!
We will serve you well new Overlord master Cari. Be prepared to be the favorite staff member – and all the baggage that accompanies that honor.
Will Cari be filling the Rbin Quivers role of laughing at all Chris’ jokes no matter what or will she have other specific minion duties?
rahpsu92 - February 22, 2012
Cari is going to have a favorite staff member?
hmmmmm
BMAN13 - February 22, 2012
We can make these sorts of jokes now!?
It always felt weird to do it with Chris. (TWSS)
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Well I guess this means I need to toss the "He-Man Women Haters Club" t-shirts I had made for everyone.
Jared Slanina - February 22, 2012
They'll keep some kids in Somalia warm
jman07 - February 22, 2012
I say "Keep Them"...
until she provides enough baked goods to eran your trust.
rahpsu92 - February 22, 2012
I'll take two in size large, please.
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
Toss them out of a t-shirt cannon
psuphysicist - February 22, 2012
Much bigger fan of the hot dog cannon
just sayin
jls83 - February 22, 2012
A man's got to do
what a man’s got to do.
PSUGuru - February 22, 2012
ooohhh, t-shirts make great crafts
shred
ta da
ComfortHePuHuTh - February 22, 2012
There goes the neighborhood!
Sorry; couldn’t resist (and btw you can’t use sarcasm font in the subject line.)
Nevertheless, as Tom Hanks might say: there’s no crying in
baseballfootball!OlderBudweiser - February 22, 2012
Time for the dirt to come out
I’m pretty sure this chick showed up at one of my tailgates last year, completely sauced. Brought some friends, man talk about party. We was hitting it. I think she was passing out some laced cupcakes or whatever. Wow, what a time. I aint saying anything else happened but my wife and I remember nothing about it!!
I do believe my wife told notcarlotta that I make stuff up.
BMAN13 - February 22, 2012
I think she did
but that’s ok, because I like you anyway
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Wasn’t sure until I got to the “completely sauced” part, but yes, that was her. I’d rather get a laced cupcake than none at all, which is all that I’ve received regardless of several promises otherwise.
AdamShell - February 22, 2012
Adam's been Joyner'd.
Promised a lot, with very little delivered.
(I will work that word until it is accepted into the Oxford English Dictionary.)
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
I award you 1 internet for that
/recd
jls83 - February 22, 2012
Dude, whatevs
at least you met me last time!
(paging dwf…)
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
He's met me!
We ate ice cream and walked and chilled and stuff, then I had to go be boring and do homework.
dwf5095 - February 22, 2012
so why does he complain all the time then?
he’s met us!
Cari Greene - February 23, 2012
I never met dwf, she has stood me up countless times
BMAN13 - February 23, 2012
shouldn't happen :[
ComfortHePuHuTh - February 23, 2012
So at what point are we all writers for BSD
and nobody is there to read it?
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
06Lion - February 22, 2012
awesome
swiggy04 - February 22, 2012
YES THIS REFERENCE
ICEICETHATGUY13 - February 22, 2012
And still nobody
covers the B1G champion PSU Women’s Basketball Team – until a Tennessee fan inquires.
rahpsu92 - February 22, 2012
All yours if you want it!
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
Erp!
Crap, I need to stick to more nebulous jokes and sarcasm. These topical jokes tend to blow up in your face.
rahpsu92 - February 22, 2012
Haha
now you have to watch Womens Basketball! (But all kidding aside, I hear their fundamentals are exceptional)
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Fundamentals
I’d rather watch Women’s Volleyball for the ‘fundamentals’
jls83 - February 22, 2012
The Fencing team appeared to have excellent fundamentals.
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
Don't forget those Curlers from the Olympics a few years back
jman07 - February 22, 2012
I'd rather have "Death By Snu Snu"
/seriously
Artiefufkin10 - February 22, 2012
by the way..
don’t GIS “Death by snu snu” at work
Artiefufkin10 - February 22, 2012
by the way..
dont tell people to not Google something at work, because they totally will.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
/guilty
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
That's what cell phones with internet access are for.
mvrck - February 22, 2012
which is exactly how I looked it up
among other things…
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
A futurama reference at work is always well deserved
ICEICETHATGUY13 - February 22, 2012
Glad somebody got it...
Artiefufkin10 - February 22, 2012
I would like to interview Maggie's mom, just sayin
BMAN13 - February 23, 2012
On man...
Lenny: “Now we can’t spit on the floor”.
Carl: “And we can’t take off our pants when it’s hot.”
Homer: “And we can’t pee in the drinking fountian.”
LowcountryLion - February 22, 2012
Why is this not green?
DrewRusse - February 22, 2012
Don't blame me...
I don’t have anything to do with it.
Willie Green - February 22, 2012
Nice signature! Here's a little more...
“The Merciless Peppers of Quetzalacatenango … grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.”
LowcountryLion - February 22, 2012
Circumventing rules against recruiting hostesses through "blog interviews."
I like it.
WorldBFat - February 22, 2012
Oh well...
Smee - February 22, 2012
G.R.O.S.S.
dbl5030 - February 22, 2012
Welcome, NC!
Kick butts, take names.
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
Darn servers!
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
Thanks!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
+1
For not being a lawyer!
LB31Monster - February 22, 2012
Just becasue she has a Film/Video degree
and works for a non-profit doesn’t exclude her from the Lawyer majority.
rahpsu92 - February 22, 2012
this
I may or may not be tangentially related to the legal department in my company. Sorry!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
-1
For using the phrase “tangentially related” and therefore putting yourself in a lawyer-like category.
LB31Monster - February 22, 2012
Congrats Cari
Are you related to Hank Williams Jr?
markpsu - February 22, 2012
Welcome aboard Cari
NJDeadhead - February 22, 2012
x
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Congrats Cari!
So glad for you!
Paige2PSU - February 22, 2012
You could have been first, you know.
And don’t try to tell me you couldn’t have gotten a TA to ghost-write BSD content for you…
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
I don't have the time
to really dedicate to quality writing. I’d rather just make snarky comments as much as possible. Cari has always posted much better analysis than I have, anyway! As long as I’m still the number 1 Diva in terms of comments, that’s all that matters! LOL!
Paige2PSU - February 22, 2012
BMAN13 - February 23, 2012
LOL!
Thanks, BMAN. I don’t know if that’s actually the case, but I’ll take the compliment anyway.
Paige2PSU - February 23, 2012
thanks buddy!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Gosh
You two are just women. What do you know about football?
jman07 - February 22, 2012
Congrats Cari!
jman there are more of us
ComfortHePuHuTh - February 22, 2012
I had to hold my Wife back at a bar once.
She was gonna fight some dude who said that to her. Literally.
jesse. - February 22, 2012
Jesse, just checkin'... the dude was saying which
he was a woman,
that women were not ‘knowing ’bout ’football
or she wasn’t a woman and possibly didn’t know football
btw, suppose that was your freepass (holding your wife back) lol
I love bsd! and PSU!!
ComfortHePuHuTh - February 23, 2012
He was some drunk punk at a dive...
I believe he frivolously discounted her opinion on the Steelers offensive line play in the same sentence he called her a girl. She threatened to cut his balls off. He got upset, and I had to separate them. She would have held her own.
jesse. - February 23, 2012
One of my favorite college memories
is drunkenly but enthusiastically recounting Ki-Jana’s role in the 1994 OSU game to some idiot who had the nerve to question my status as a football fan. I don’t remember much of what happened after that but I’m pretty sure I got a few high fives and some free drinks.
dwf5095 - February 22, 2012
I had the same experience at the Alamo Bowl in 2007
When an aTm fan tried to tell me it was OK to knock the punter down after he punted. He made some commented about “no way a girl knows the rules”
He also was wearing overalls. An not in an ironic way.
When we came back and won, oh, he mad.
letsgopsu - February 23, 2012
Now now. Why were you making fun of Farmer Fran?
jman07 - February 23, 2012
ADVANCED STATS PLZ
ckmneon - February 22, 2012
Waitaminute
I thought Foog was the first writer of the fairer sex.
Pentimental - February 22, 2012
Please...
Don’t insult women that way.
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
um
not saying that this was my first response, but I’m not saying it wasn’t either.
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
"There is a strength in the union even of very sorry men." Homer
Pentimental - February 22, 2012
Since comments are closed on the survey post
Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. Your answers have been amazingly thoughtful, mostly kind, and occasionally funny (including the person who asked for more coverage of my mom gardening in a thong. I’ll see what I can do.)
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
Whoever that person is, just got hired.
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
hired for what?
WorldBFat - February 22, 2012
EVERYTHING
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
Could've guessed it
jls83 - February 22, 2012
why u no allow comments?
letsgopsu - February 22, 2012
To keep the results individualized.
When I put together the results posts, you’ll all be able to collaborate and comment freely.
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
So in other words...
you just want to keep us puppets dangling on our strings?
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
Sounds more like he wants to control the content and tone of the conversation . . .
PSUinBOSSton - February 22, 2012
Beatings will stop when morale improves!
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
What now?
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
Nice utilization of Survey Monkey...
I used it in conjunction with Facebook for my Statistics class last semester, and it couldn’t have been easier!
LowcountryLion - February 22, 2012
Jeff...
your new writer sounds hot.
BNittsDeMilo - February 22, 2012
I'll take it!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Hurray!
Congrats Cari! It is a good time to be a Diva. So proud of you!
letsgopsu - February 22, 2012
thanks so much letsgo!!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Im going to stock up on a whole bunch of images
which will be used if anyone disagree with Cari. Examples:
swiggy04 - February 22, 2012
Rec'd for the first pic alone
jman07 - February 22, 2012
Consider my rec to you a proxy rec for the first pic in swiggy's comment.
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
This is offensive
I am reporting you to the mods
jesse. - February 22, 2012
Right after you get done laughing.
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
I appreciate the consistency between this image and your avatar.
WorldBFat - February 22, 2012
Well yeah...
BSD is going to stop thinking that picture is funny way before I do.
jesse. - February 22, 2012
Because Jack Bauer's dad is a hippie at heart?
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
I will not consider myself a full writer on here
until one of these has been posted in the comment section below an article.
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Congrats!
Now to make breakfast.
misdreavus79 - February 22, 2012
Phew
I always thought the dark years were my fault. yay for class of 03,and from MD. as I am both
farrellpsu - February 22, 2012
No offense BSD… but I get excited when I see the sirens and then figure out it’s a writer….. Oh.
rugbyrowe - February 22, 2012
BREAKING
RUGBYROWE EASILY FOOLED. MUST CREDIT BSD.
Chris Grovich - February 22, 2012
Thanks. I almost thought I signed a LOI to PSU!
rugbyrowe - February 22, 2012
I thought we got Hackenburg, Switzer AND Brenneman at the same time
swiggy04 - February 22, 2012
/swoons
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
Stop playing with my emotions.
rugbyrowe - February 22, 2012
Also, barring Scandal 2.0...
I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised in February 2013, at least as it pertains to those three players. Of course, I’m saying that 3 weeks after the previous Signing Day. But still…
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
Have the rules changed
or isn’t it true that real, actual offers can’t go out until August?
ckmneon - February 22, 2012
August 1.
Or as it’s known at Alabama – “Haha, I was just kidding about that” Day.
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
I'd put money on switzer being first
then probably brennemen and hackenburg.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
Congrats!!
Good luck reppin all the BSD Divas everywhere!
mleepsu08 - February 22, 2012
thanks, I hope to do us proud!
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Wait. No love for ESB
Stormtroopers
Kunza - February 22, 2012
Cari, all Redskins fans are self loathing. I know this becaue I too, suffer
letsgopsu - February 22, 2012
I live in NOVA, and was born a Steelers fan, so this is my reaction to this picture
jls83 - February 22, 2012
best. pic. ever.
I hope Kyle sees it.
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
It's why PSU's football success is so important.
I need to know on any given weekend I have a chance at seeing 1 football team win. Odds are never in favor that the Redskins have a chance.
Succss With Honor Always - February 22, 2012
I can't see this without thinking of skins4ever
we hardly knew ye, but anxiously await your return, skins
ckmneon - February 22, 2012
I'm surprised one of the OSU blogs didn't swoop in at the eleventh hour to claim her.
AdamShell - February 22, 2012
whatever
she had long hair anyways.
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
I don't want to know if she has tattoos --
that would be the last straw.
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
well then
should I resign now?
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
Only if
Pics of your sweet tats show up on a questionable website, of ill reput…and you don’t tell us where to find them!!!
AriesGD - February 22, 2012
We've been Joyner'd!
PSU_Lions_84 - February 22, 2012
It's a long time until Signing Day.
Sources tell me Urban has already called her.
Jeff Junstrom - February 22, 2012
When did we stop calling him Earvin Meyers?
leeharvey418 - February 22, 2012
Nah, Cari's WAY too awesome for the douchiness of ATO.
OBrienSchofieldismyHero - February 22, 2012
Stop yelling
psuphysicist - February 23, 2012
Pentimental - February 22, 2012
I keep my whipping cream by the bedside
skarocksoi - February 22, 2012
TMI
leeharvey418 - February 23, 2012
Pentimental - February 22, 2012
Pentimental - February 22, 2012
Dear Pentimental,
Never, ever, ever stop doing this.
Love,
ckmneon
ckmneon - February 22, 2012
SUPER ADDITION
just by her bio alone she’s someone we’d all like to hang out with.
my memory of ‘99 game, wasn’t there for it, was at a bowling tourney for the PSU bowling club in Lancaster, PA. We were all watching the game on the small 19 inch tv the alley had (taking turns to bowl then coming back to watch), and we couldn’t believe what we had seen. That year was our year – SI cover, Lavar runnin wild (running wild all over the sorostitutes in cooper hall), big Miami win. We had won our bowling matches but we were sullen and arriving back to campus the next day everything was quiet up there, everyone was dejected
losing the next two games was moot at that point but did show that perhaps that team didn’t really have what it took, unlike the 86 team or even 94 team. Heck, cept for 1 play, i’ll throw ’05 in there too.
As for ’05, all i remember is the freezing cold yet warmth in my heart as troy smith did a pirouet (spelling meaning flippy thing) :-)
mikey23 - February 22, 2012
suck-upskarocksoi - February 22, 2012
I personally enjoyed it
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
TWHS
BMAN13 - February 23, 2012
Congrats and I look forward to your posts.
I always have appreciated your comments. But I must say, it will take me some time to get used to your new byline a/k/a “your name”. Just don’t change the avatar.
cwarner28 - February 22, 2012
Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes!
I hope to do the divas proud.
Wait, what?
Cari Greene - February 22, 2012
As long as you video tape it
AriesGD - February 22, 2012
FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith’s point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man—
STAN: Or woman.
FRANCIS: Or woman… to rid himself—
STAN: Or herself.
FRANCIS: Or herself.
REG: Agreed.
FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.
STAN: Or sister.
FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?
REG: I think you’d finished.
FRANCIS: Oh. Right.
REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man—
STAN: Or woman.
REG: Why don’t you shut up about women, Stan. You’re putting us off.
STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN: I want to be one.
REG: What?
STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’.
REG: What?!
LORETTA: It’s my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies.
REG: You want to have babies?!
LORETTA: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But… you can’t have babies.
LORETTA: Don’t you oppress me.
REG: I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
LORETTA: (crying)
JUDITH: Here! I— I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG: What’s the point?
FRANCIS: What?
REG: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can’t have babies?!
FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality. (Sound of trumpets followed by clap clap clap)
MainLion - February 22, 2012
WO-MAN
WOAH. MAN.
WOOOOOOOOOOAH MAN.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlkoQ4bUE5k
Congrats Cari!
speedomike - February 22, 2012
Welcome aboard, Cari!
OBrienSchofieldismyHero - February 22, 2012
Congrats Cari!
An excellent addition.
Esteban d' Amur - February 23, 2012
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